What are boundaries?
“Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards him or her and how they will respond when someone steps past those limits.”
This is the definition of personal boundaries according to Wikipedia.
Another way of thinking about boundaries is that of protecting your property and protecting yourself. How you do that is your process. It is sometimes easier to think about than actually do. When people are in your space and talking you down, how do you defend yourself? How do you react to them with out moving down to their level? It takes a lot of practice. It takes a lot of contemplation, self searching, and soul searching. It is always better to “respond” rather than to “react” to other people. When the intensity of the moment, especially when it is perceived that someone else is attacking you, happens, you must act with great resolve in order to stay true to yourself. Hold on to your self esteem, have your boundaries in full awareness. Keep yourself within your desires, rather than reacting to the other person.
Some people actually like to cause ripples in other peoples lives. They strive on conflict and chaos. Drama is their mission. That puts them in the control position, making them feel powerful because they are in fact controlling you. It doesn’t seem to matter what the end result is, to these people, they live for the moment, causing whatever conflict they can, being offensive and doing whatever it takes to control the moment. When in contact with this kind of person, you must keep your own personal goals in mind, knowing that this situation is only temporary. If you desire peace and harmony in your life, you have to just side step conflict causers, and move away from them.
I used to have a lot of conflict in my life. It seemed to follow me everywhere I went. People would seek me out to be rude to me. I guess I was an easy target for someone wanting to vent their discomfort or anger. I finally figured out that other people’s anger is their problem, and it didn’t have to be mine. I started practicing my own peace and harmony until it was just normal and comfortable for me NOT to have or allow conflict around me. Peace and harmony has become a habit for me.
Of coarse you know that the more you practice something, the easier it becomes. I surround myself with kind, harmonious, fun people that encourage and love me. It feels so much better now that I enforce my boundaries, and attract the peace and harmony that I really want.
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